love yo selfie

today’s mantra: i will do something healthy for my body today to feed my mind happy endorphins. 💖

breast cancer awareness is on my mind today as i want to speak to it before #breastcancerawarenessmonth is over. the first time i had a mammogram i went in for a painful lump. that happens they said sometimes during certain times of the month. i learned at that moment that cancerous lumps are not generally painful. they then proceeded to tell me that i did however have a concerning lump on the other side. they measured and took pictures and i felt it all going slow motion. the doctor chatted with me and stated that we were going to monitor it for growth in the next 6 months. okay, so, not THAT alarming…

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.

Martin Luther King, Jr. , American minister

6 month check up all was well – no growth. see ya in another 6.

12 month check up – the lump doubled in size. you can tell when the doctor is worried – have you ever dealt with anything like that? you can see the concern on their face and the speed at which you get your next appointment is lightning speed. ⚡️

that’s when i cried a mountain of tears. i am a single momma of four babies. i wanted to stick around. my mind went into tizzy mode. my friend took me to dinner with my puffy eyes. i bought a white swimsuit – it was sort of a yolo moment for me lol. we swam that night and spun circles in our donut floaties. i felt better…a little. she helped me calm my brain and realize might not die which is what i was certain of earlier in the day.

know you are loved. whatever health challenge you are experiencing or will experience, reach out to others if you feel alone. i felt very alone. i didn’t really know who to tell. but I broke down and called my one friend i thought i could and she lifted me.

take a walk. get outside. smile. practice feeling happy until it becomes more natural. be grateful. meditate. your body fuels your mind power. 🧠

hugs and peace,

@mommacorn415 xoxo